Staying Awake Through ITIL: A Survival Guide for Humans

(by Jason, Your BDQ Account Manager)

Ah, ITIL. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a meeting nodding politely while a Consultant tells your customers why “ITIL4 is all about practices and NOT processes”, you’re not alone. As an Account Manager at BDQ, I’ve seen more blank stares in ITSM meetings than a senior leadership team realising they’ve been approving their own tickets for six months.

Look, I’m not a technical wizard, nor do I pretend to be. I leave the spell-casting and incantations - sorry, I mean technical details - to our highly capable (but jargon-addicted) consultants. Instead, my role is pretty simple: keeping things human, straightforward, and most importantly, awake.

So, how do you survive - and dare I say, enjoy - your ITIL journey? Here’s my insider advice from the front lines:

1. Beware of Consultants Speaking "Consultantese"

If you start hearing phrases like "value co-creation ecosystems," "service value chains," or "holistic governance," immediately throw up a hand and demand a translation. My job often involves translating "Consultantese" into actual human language. For example:

• Consultant says: "We must co-create value within the service value system by optimising our practices."
  Translation: "We should do stuff together that actually makes things better."

• Consultant says: "Our continual improvement initiatives will iterate across the service value chain to enhance stakeholder outcomes."
  Translation: "We’ll keep tweaking things until everyone's happier."

• Consultant says: "Let’s leverage guiding principles to foster organisational agility and resilience."
  Translation: "Let’s stick to some common sense rules so we can adapt quicker when stuff hits the fan."

• Consultant says: "The four dimensions of service management must be balanced to achieve optimal value realisation."
  Translation: "Keep everything working smoothly, and we'll all win."

See? Simple.

2. Ask the Real Questions (Like an Actual Human)

Don’t be afraid to cut through the technical haze and ask the real-world questions:

• "How will this actually help our business?"
• "Can you explain that without sounding like an IT textbook?"
• "Will this save me from receiving angry calls at 3 AM?"

As your trusty account manager, I live for these moments - partly because it makes meetings shorter, but mostly because clarity equals success.

3. Stay Goal-Oriented (Because Life's Too Short)

Remember, ITIL and ITSM aren’t about ticking boxes or collecting fancy-sounding acronyms. It's about getting actual results and keeping focused on outcomes like fewer headaches, happier customers, or more efficient service desks.

And let's face it, nobody gets emotional about "optimised continual improvement practices." But say "we reduced downtime by 40%," and suddenly, there’s cheering in the aisles.

4. Keep It Human, Keep It Light

If your ITIL meetings lack personality, bring one (or better yet, let me do it for you). You don’t have to sacrifice professionalism for humanity. The most successful projects I've seen are those where people actually talk like people.

Try it sometime - trade your "deep-dive" for an "honest conversation." Your audience (and your sanity) will thank you.

5. Remember, You're Allowed to Have Fun (Really!)

This isn’t a hostage situation - though some PowerPoint slides might make it feel like one. Injecting humour, personality, and yes, even a touch of sarcasm, helps break tension, improve communication, and achieve better results.

At BDQ, my mission is to keep your ITIL journey meaningful, relevant, and mercifully free of unnecessary boredom. Ready to start your jargon-free, results-driven ITIL journey? Drop me a line - let's talk human and make IT service management actually enjoyable!